I am waiting for someone
who's not coming
that I know
I'm waiting around, watching life go by
sitting in a nice place
wondering when it is going to start
waiting for that someone to come
to start living
I am scared
because somewhere around the time
where I stopped being a child
who is convinced the world belongs to her
and she can do and be and become anything
I lost my confidence
and now I have to push myself so hard
for every new step I take
for everytime
I go out and show myself
for everytime I speak
for everytime I do something
where the outcome is uncertain
and I long to be at places
where I think it would be different
and it might even be true
but I don't know if it's the places
or myself
who is different
and I am waiting
wishing, someone came
to hold me
to love me
to see what's deep inside me
and not give up
caus I want to be strong
but I hate being on my own like that
knowing I would not have to
being somewhere else
I want to go on living my life
I think I might find someone here
but something uncertain
unresolved
not yet figured out
holds me back
I feel I want to know
and it is easier to hold onto
what's already there
then to get up and jump
into that ice cold water
I want to jump
I really do
I think in summer
when it is warmer
it might not sting as much
oh love
oh life
why can't you be lighter
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